self-love, the ultimate valentine’s gift

In February, we are surrounded by stories, and material purchasing focussed on the expression of romantic love for a partner, or others in our life we are connected with romantically. But what about our relationship with ourselves? Have we paid much attention to that recently?

Self-care, and self-love are necessary foundations for how we are in all of our relationships. I know that if I am not taking care of myself, I can’t show up for you. Period. And as someone who experienced early childhood traumas which have left deep relational wounds, I know how important it is to stay well in myself by focusing on all the things that keep me feeling relaxed, and open to others. My self care checklist (food, hygiene, fun, connection, giving to others) is non- negotiable.

But I also know the siren's call of "it doesn't matter, I can just take care of myself. Nobody can help me." This is the shadow side of my own journey of healing and self care; being hyper independent, and not needing anyone else. This becomes a wall that keeps others out, and since I am very self sufficient, I can be a world unto my own.

So as in all things, it's about balance. Self focus when I have forgotten my own needs, and other focus when I have forgotten the necessity of being open to others' care, guidance, and support.

Focusing on my bodywork and energetic practice is essential in this balance; the somatic feedback is so quick to tell me when I have tipped the scales too far and need to right myself again. 

 And this, this tuning in, opening up; this is the deepest form of self love I know. It is deeply humbling, and wise. And deeply, deeply connected to the world around me -- deeply in love and loving.